Because it’s not working on my main blog
Father Daughter Dance Songs January 30, 2011
I’ve been thinking lately about a good father daughter dance song for me and my dad. My dad and I have not always had the closest relationship, for several years I didn’t even speak to him. But we are close now, maybe not daddy’s little girl close, but we’re like friends, which I am really happy about. I’d like to find a father daughter dance song that reflects how our relationship really is, rather than trying to make it look like the I’ve-always-been-your-little-girl-and-we’ve-always-been-uber-close relationship that every daddy/daughter dance seems to want to portray. I don’t feel like there’s any reason to try to pretend my relationship with my dad is something it’s not. I like what my relationship with my dad is, I am grateful for it, and to try to pretend we have something else would be, in my eyes, a declaration of shame about what our relationship is.
So I’ve been doing a little of research into father/daughter dance songs, and I have to say that I am generally horrified at a couple of songs I see come up over and over and over again; Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison and Daughters by John Mayor.
Okay, Brown Eyed Girl is a kick-ass, fun song. I love it, who doesn’t love it? But it’s a song very clearly written for a romantic lover. I don’t know about any of you, but I don’t want to dance with my dad to the lyric “Making love in the green grass behind the stadium with you”. No thank you.
And then there’s Daughters. Has anyone ever actually listened to the lyrics to that song? Because what it’s about is a girl John Mayor dated once, and he really liked her, but she had emotional issues that prevented a real relationship due to her neglectful father. So yeah, if you want your father daughter dance to say to the world “I don’t really love my husband because I’m incapable of attachment because my dad was a dead beat” go ahead and dance to John Mayors Daughters.
John Mayor sucks anyhow.
Molas! January 10, 2011
I knew when I started this planning I wanted sort of a Central American, Latino feel to my wedding. I’m serving Mexican food. I plan to play Buena Vista Social Club and other Cuban music during the cocktail hour and dinner. I picked out bright, bold colors. My signature drink is going to be margaritas.
But I didn’t want to do a Dia De Los Muertos thing (even though I LOVE Dia De Los Muertos) because I see that done SOOOO much lately. So I wasn’t really sure how to tie the whole thing together. I’ve been feeling like no one understood my vision (except my co – maid of honor, who, upon hearing my colors – and no other details – said, “Are you going for a Mexican theme?”). My mom, who is doing my invitations, had this idea about pressed flower invitations since before Jeremy even proposed. I keep saying that it sounds too stuffy, formal and girly, but she wouldn’t let it go. She’d say “flowers aren’t formal” (no, fresh ones aren’t, but to me, pressed flowers say dusty old Victorian stuff) or “weddings are formal”. Well, not mine. My wedding is going to be fun.
The other night, my mom asked me again, “What do you want to do with your invitations?”. My mom has been a graphic designer for over 20 years. She’s won tons of national awards, and she’s done an amazing job at designing paper stuff for our family in the past. She’s done wedding invitations, baby shower invitations, birth announcements, funeral programs, you name it. I have every confidence in her abilities to make some kick ass wedding invitations. I just haven’t liked her vision so far. She brought up pressed flowers again, which I shot down, and she looked disappointed. I tried explaining “Look, I’m wanting to do a sort of Mexican theme. We’re doing Mexican food and margaritas. I want to stick to that one theme, and not be mixing stuff up too much.”
She looked perturbed, but un-muted the tv and stared at it for a few seconds. Then she pressed mute again and laughed “I just got an idea! What if we did molas?”
Molas are a type of folk art created by the peoples of the region from Panama to Columbia. My family is familiar with molas because my father grew up in Panama, and my grandmother and grandfather have a great deal of mola artwork around their house. I loved my grandmother’s mola pillows as I was growing up, and her mola jewelry. This seemed like a marvelous idea to me!
Molas aren’t Mexican, but I don’t feel the need to stick to one country. It’s the entire culture of Central America that intrigues me, and what I’d like to showcase during my wedding, even though neither myself nor my fiance has a drop of Latino blood in us (my father grew up in the Panama Canal Zone because his father piloted ships through the canal as a Merchant Marine, not because he’s Panamanian. The Stones are very likely Irish, though we don’t know for sure – that’s a whole other story for another day). All my life, I have felt drawn towards that world, I can’t say why. But I spent a year in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and I grew up hearing stories of Panama in the 60’s, and I was born and raised in a state with a huge Mexican influence, so maybe it’s natural.
Of course, mola invitations would be hard to make, we’ll be doing a lot of paper cutting, but I think it’s well worth the work. I love the mola idea so much, I think I’m going to use it throughout my decorating. Maybe a mola ring bearer pillow? Mola placemats at the tables? Mola purses for my bridesmaids?
Now, traditional molas are quilted. It’s very intricate quilting done with little strips of fabric, which I don’t think I could do (especially not with my old sewing machine), and I don’t think I’d want to take the time to do if I could. I can purchase molas pre made on fabric, which I might do for my ring bearer pillow, but that would get pricey if I did that over and over again for all the placemats, fabric, etc., that I might want to use a mola on. However, I think I could easily paint or batik molas onto paper or fabric. Though they wouldn’t be a true mola, I think that they would still be beautiful and compelling.
My mom really is a great visionary when it comes to creative stuff. I’m very excited about this new development.
I am officially done going to bridal shows. I went to my second one yesterday and I think I’ve seen enough. Not that it was terrible, I love expos really, so I had fun. But I can’t imagine seeing or learning about anything new or interesting anymore from these shows. Most of it is stuff that is WAY outside my budget anyway. Sure, its kind of fun to learn about the company that does dueling pianos at rich people’s wedding, and to taste that tuna sashimi served in a tiny ice cream cone, but I will never purchase any of this, so why did I spend $7 to go look at it?
Wedding Investments December 30, 2010
As a former photographer myself, I like the way so many photographers talk about what your investment in their services are going to be, rather than the cost. Photographs are an investment. They are physical preservations of your wedding memories. You’re going to be spending a lot of money on your wedding, and all of it is just going to be hazy memories in a few years without photographs.
This is partially why I’ve been so picky about choosing a photographer. Yes, I am on a budget, but I still want something nice (despite the belief some people have that unless you are forking over 30 grand or more for your wedding, you don’t deserve good pictures). This is an investment. The rest of my wedding is going to end up in either the recycling, the compost, sold/donated or in storage, and I’ll never see the most of it again. But I’m going to look at my photos frequently, I’ll probably have some on display. I want them to be good.
Photos don’t have to be the only part of your wedding that is an investment, though. Probably the number one thing you can do to have a green and cheap wedding is to make as many aspects of your wedding permanent or reusable. In other words, more aspects of your wedding should be long term investments than not.
How can this be done? Well, for example, since I am holding my wedding in my back yard, a good deal of my decorating budget is going to be spent on fixing up my back yard. I will be investing in some grass seed, to reseed my yard and make sure it is extra lush, organic fertilizing service for my lawn, and lots and lots of flowers for the borders of my yard, to make not only the yard pretty, but to provide the flowers for arrangements on my table, and maybe even a good portion of the bouquets. All of these things are investments in my mother and mine’s property (even though after the wedding I will be moving into Jeremy’s house and this yard will no longer be mine, I will still be spending lots of time here, I’m sure). We will be able to enjoy this money spent for many years to come. Furthermore, all the extra flowers will provide more food for our bees and hopefully boost our honey production.
We will also be decorating with LED Christmas lights, which we will of course reuse for holiday decorating in the future. I plan to use mason jars for vases, which I will then be able to use for canning for years to come. I have done what I can to make sure that my bridesmaids will pick out dresses they will wear again, and I will be reusing as much of my wedding attire as possible.
Many women choose dresses that they will wear again, which I think is awesome. I however, chose a princess dress that would not be very practical anywhere but walking down the aisle, or perhaps costume events. However, dresses can be donated (for a tax write off), or used to make new things in the future. On Offbeat Bride, a bride told the forums how she intended to make prayer shawls for herself and her husband out of her wedding dress when she was done. In my family, we have discussed making christening gowns for babies out of my mother’s wedding dress (which didn’t happen for Elijah, but hopefully it will for the next baby), and I suppose the same could be done with mine. Or, as another woman on Offbeat Bride said, there’s always the option of being zombie bride and groom for Halloween next year.
Parting with money for a wedding isn’t quite as painful if you feel like you’re making a long term investment, and not just blowing money for one day of frivolities. Even if you could care less about the environment, it’s worth considering making more of your wedding purchases into long term investments. Unless, of course, you really hate money, and are looking for whatever way you can find to part with it (in which case, you can make checks out to Jessica Stone, and my address is …. ).